The Mechanical Contrivium: John Goodrich

Ten Top Trivia Tips about John Goodrich!

  1. In his entire life, John Goodrich will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
  2. Contrary to popular belief, John Goodrich is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases he may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol!
  3. A John Goodrichometer is used to measure John Goodrich.
  4. John Goodrich is the largest of Saturn's moons!
  5. Birds do not sleep in John Goodrich, though they may rest in him from time to time!
  6. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing John Goodrich!
  7. If you toss John Goodrich 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom!
  8. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are John Goodrich.
  9. John Goodrich was declared extinct in 1902.
  10. John Goodrichology is the study of John Goodrich.

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.